Don't Stain My Pleather Leggings
by cbassluv
Summary: Inspired by ep 3.19. Blair wants to borrow clothes from Vanessa. That's not the only unusual thing that happens.


"Blair!" Vanessa was unable to keep the horror out of her voice at the sight of a perky Blair Waldorf standing on her doorstep. An apologetic looking Dan stood behind her, looking every bit like he wanted to be everywhere but there.

"Vanessa! Hi." Blair sang back. Her eyes were bright and she was wearing a smile Vanessa was never privy to. "I need an outfit."

Straight to the point, as always.

"I'm sorry?" her eyes flew to Dan, who sighed the sigh of a suffering man.

"Blair wants to follow us to the art-house party." He explained, with a tired shrug. He looked restless, shuffling from one foot to the other and looking around like he was being followed.

"Okay..." she looked back at Blair, still perplexed. Blair's smile was so wide she was sure it was cracking her makeup.

"I'm trying to blend into your…" Blair made a show of trying to find a word by looking up then offering Vanessa a patronizing smile. "…crowd." She said slowly.

"By wearing my clothes." She repeated in a deadpan. Blair nodded, and Vanessa was briefly fascinated by how the other girl was acting like they both hadn't stopped short of poisoning the other's coffee mere months ago. She wanted some of those magic mushrooms she'd obviously been eating.

Dan was reluctant to meet her eyes, and she wondered if he was feeling guilty for putting all of them in this awkward situation.

"I don't know if I'm comfortable with this …" she began slowly, gripping the door handle hard, resisting the urge to close the door and pretend like this exchange hadn't happened.

"Oh, don't be dramatic, Abrams," Blair snapped, and Vanessa was almost relieved to see the hint of bitch she had come to know and despise. "Consider this an olive branch, if you will."

"You showing up on my doorstep so you can borrow clothes to blend in with the Brooklyn folk… is a peace offering?!"

Blair raised an eyebrow. "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." When Vanessa didn't say anything, she rolled her eyes. "Okay, maybe some backstory will help move things along. It's because of Chuck. Happy? He put out a dating fatwa on me! I can't get a single guy on the UES to make out with and I am SO sure he's responsible. I NEED this, Vanessa. I need to show the world I've moved on and away from his psychotic spell. I can only do this, in Brooklyn, where noone cares about him or his influence and hopefully it will get on Gossip Girl. But to do THAT, I need to look like… well… you. Surely you can sympathise with a fellow girl?"

Vanessa held back a laugh. Blair had gone from disturbingly mellow to crazy in no time and it was kinda fun to watch.

Blair looked aghast. "Are you… _laughing _at me?"

"I'm sorry," Vanessa said without thinking, fighting and failing to keep the smile off her face. "That's just the craziest thing I've ever heard. Dating fatwa?"

"It's Chuck Bass!" she protested, as if Vanessa was being thick and this alone explained everything.

She had to admit that it sounded like the kind of thing he COULD do but she shrugged. "Wish I could sympathize… I guess that's the downfall of having a spiteful, plotting boyfriend." She couldn't resist snarking, while throwing Dan a look of admiration for good measure. He had moved away from their bickering to make a call and she spent a moment admiring his frame. He looked good in black.

Blair's face was pure disgust now. "I honestly do not know what you people keep seeing in that guy." she said quietly, her eyes blank.

Vanessa righted her gaze and smirked. "We're having a very pot meet kettle moment right now, don't you think?"

"Ugh, like you wouldn't jump Chuck's bones the first chance you got." She shot back, defensively.

The air was tense for a moment as they were both forced to remember an event they'd both been trying to forget.

"You're awfully defensive of a guy you're trying to make jealous." Vanessa said, trying to keep her annoyance in check.

Blair closed her eyes and sighed. "Can we just… go 10 minutes without arguing so you can help me? Please?"

Vanessa looked at Blair hard for a while, debating the pros and cons of acquiescing. Blair had done some horrible things to her… Since the first day they met. It was the status quo: They hated each other. Yet, ever since that day Blair had sat down next to her in the coffee shop, just as defeated as she was, it simply seemed too tiring to constantly keep at this with her. Blair had actually gotten over her snobbery and come to ask for clothes, that was something she never thought she'd see.

In fact, she was so unused to this behaviour and Blair's big sad, doe eyes, that she shocked herself. "Fine. I guess I could loan you something." she said with a heavy sigh. Later, she would put it down to momentary insanity.

Blair's face brightened again and she stepped past her into the room, making a beeline for Vanessa's closet. Dan was watching the two of them warily.

"Is it safe?" he asked.

She chuckled and pulled him close to her. "Yes it is." She laid a soft kiss on him.

"Sorry I didn't give you a heads up, but you know she is." He said, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Yeah, it's okay… this could be an experience… you know, seeing _Blair Waldorf_ in my clothes."

"_She_ can _hear_ you." Blair said loudly, from the depths of Vanessa's closet.

Vanessa rolled her eyes and ran her hands up and down Dan's arms. "I would have preferred to just stay in with you and … forget about clothes altogether…" she whispered. "It's not too late."

Dan groaned dramatically. "Don't tempt me." He was about to lean in for another kiss when Blair cleared her throat loudly.

They both turned to see her standing three feet away with her arms crossed and her face stern. "Seriously? Get a room. Actually forget I said that. Dan, go away."

His mouth dropped open. "Now hang on…"

"I'm not going to get dressed with you here, and I need Vanessa's full attention. As long as you two are practically humping yourselves neither of the above can happen."

"What am I supposed to be doing while you play dress up?" he snapped back.

Blair had already dismissed him by turning back to the closet. "I'm sure you'll find something."

Now it was Vanessa's turn to give him an apologetic look. He looked back at her in frustration, then his eyes lit up. "Hey I've gotta… find someone… I'll be back in a bit."

"Who?"

"Just … a classmate." He said, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead and half-running out of the room.

Vanessa closed the door and took a deep breath. "Here we go."

Blair was holding two tops on hangers in her hands. Her eyes darted back and forth between them for a moment. "This won't work." she murmured.

"What?"

She looked up. "Your clothes. It looks like a leprechaun and Ronal McDonald had a baby and said baby threw up on them." She said, matter-of-factly. "Don't you have anything more… subtle?"

Vanessa frowned, choosing to ignore the first remark. "Subtle?"

"You know? Something with just one colour, perhaps? That _isn't_ purple?"

She could see this was going to be harder than she thought. She took another deep breath and walked up to the closet, taking the tops from Blair's hands as she did. "You've seen me around, what I wear, this shouldn't be so shocking."

"Yeah but…" Blair began with a pout. "I was hoping you'd have something wearable hidden in here."

"Blair! Seriously? This is _not _people get favors from other people!" Vanessa half-cried. It was like the girl couldn't control herself.

Blair actually managed to look contrite, but it was more of a toned down roll of the eyes. "Sorry." It didn't sound sincere at all, but Vanessa decided she'll take it. She leafed through her clothes, idly wondering why she'd let Blair into her room at all.

"Your room is so... interesting." Blair began. Vanessa steeled herself.

"You don't say..."

"A lava lamp? They still make those? Wow. And oh! Would you look at that duvet...so..._ striped and colourful. _You really do seem to have a thing for those kind of patterns." Blair was practically forcing it out. Vanessa was just glad she couldn't see the horrified face that would obviously accompany those words.

"Blair, are you trying to make conversation? Because really at this point I'd rather you didn't."

"Well... fine. I tried."

She pulled out a few tops and handed them to her.

"Oh, my bad. I didn't realize thinly-veiled criticism of my interior decorating choices was the new ice-breaker." Vanessa said, looking at the petite brunette with a fake smile on her face.

"I take offence. I genuinely find lava lamps to be ... interesting."

Vanessa almost laughed at the absurdity of the situation she was currently in. At least Blair got points for lying, albeit poorly. "Just... try these on, while I look for some pants." She said, digging through her clothes again. It took a few seconds for her to realize Blair hadn't moved. She looked at her. "What?"

"I'm not much of a _pants_ person." Blair said. The look on her face said she was serious. They stared at each other for a beat.

"So you only ever wear skirts? Why?" she asked, when the other girl didn't elaborate further.

"Style preference." She replied defensively. "Why do _you_ only ever wear neon colours?"

Vanessa nodded. One couldn't help but admire her need to have the last word. "Touché."

As she turned her head back to her clothes she thought she saw the beginning of a smile on Blair's face.

* * *

**TBC.**


End file.
